If you want to get rid of pests, I'll tell you how right now. To get rid of flies, fleas, roaches (not the marijuana kind), spiders, rats and even duckbill platypuses, then there is one easy solution.

The solution is to hire the Terminator Exterminators. That is right girly-man, the Terminator is not only looking for Sarah Connor but is also out to exterminate your pests as well. "But" you say (and why you've just said this I do not know) "there is a good Terminator and a bad Terminator so which one do I choose."

The quick answer on how to get rid of flies, fleas, roaches (not the marijuana kind), spiders, rats and even duckbill platypuses (platypi) is that you choose the medium Terminator exterminator. Sometimes he's good, sometimes bad.

He'll wipe out your pests and then wipe out your pets. He'll wipe you out if you smirk at him the wrong way. But, be it known on Judgment Day you won't have nary a pest left in your abode.

Whether going Back to the Future in a DeLorean or from the future to the past on the Terminator Exterminator Express, the Schwarzen-gagger machine is sure to apocalypse your troubles away.

Let's just say that you happen to have an infestation of duckbill platypuses. I know, it's kind of weird, but let's just say that. With the girly-man exterminator service on your side along with future technology he will reverse that duckbill and put it on the Ornithorhynchus anatinus's butt. Now, how's that for a kick on the arse?

No, semi-seriously, though. If you want to get rid of pests such as flies, fleas, roaches (and yes, the marijuana kind), spiders, rats and even duckbill platypuses then call a qualified technician that you find on a flyer hanging at the laundromat. But, if you'd like to take it one step further and wipe out a whole civilization, then call the Terminator Exterminator service. You won't be disproportionately disappointed.