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How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

With the advent of the Internet and services like Match, eHarmony and BackPage more people are dating and over longer distances. If you happen to find yourself in a long distance relationship you may want to find out how to make this work.

In order to make this work a certain amount of passion and trust will need to be established first. Without these two elements a long distance relationship is doomed to fail. Another ingredient is communication.

Now you've come here looking for how to make a long distance relationship work and I am assuming by your tone of mind (not voice) that you are indeed looking for how to turn a long distance relationship into work, as into a tedious job and I will tell you how.

First, both of your need to be relatively psychologically immature. You don't want to hurt each other's feelings. You have basic codependent tendencies and value your partner's feelings over your own.

So, you cling to this relationship that should have died a stillborn death in some backstreet Mexican doctor's office in the 1980's and hold onto it as your lifeline. You may be thinking that you'll just be in this relationship until something better comes along a little closer to home.

Now, how to make a long distance relationship work involves these top 10 easy steps:

  1. Let that trust you've developed lead into jealous distrust. Convince yourself that your long distance partner is indeed at this moment sleeping with someone else.
2. Let that passion fade. Compare your partner in that land Far, Far Away to an Ogre and or at least Donkey.
3. Next, call your long distance partner constantly even if they don't want you too. Soon, this will become work for you and them. Call them for no reason and with nothing to say.
4. When you fly to visit your partner, take the redeye and get the cheapest ticket with the most layovers possible, so once again this will be work, like a job for both you and them.
5. Next, instead of taking a plane, sometimes take a train or bus just to draw out the agony. Bring along actual work from your job so that once again this relationship will seem like work and the fun will be sucked dry like the dry lake beds at Bonneville or El Mirage, California.
6. Plan to do nothing fun with your time together. Talk about bills, the weather and how long a porcupine's quills should be.
7. Reading to bring when you visit your mate includes the books of clichés, conversation starters, and lawn clippings.
8. Tell your long distance mate that you're bored, over and over and over again, ad nauseam, so that you yourself become repetitious and boring.
9. Moan about all of your physical, psychological, social and situational problems that your partner cannot solve or listen to anymore so they feel helpless and keep tuning you out.
10. Hope, by the holy graces above that you make life so unbearable for them that they reject you first and call it off, so that you get to be the victim instead of the bad guy (or gal).

These are the top 10 steps in how to make a long distance relationship work. Remember a long distance relationship can feel like a job to some people, so treat it that way and some day so may draw a pension (or time in a penitentiary for a semi-planned train "accident" just to relieve the boredom).

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