How to Make a Long Distance Relationship
With the advent of the Internet and services like Match, eHarmony
and BackPage more people are dating and over longer distances.
If you happen to find yourself in a long distance relationship
you may want to find out how to make this work.
In order to make this work a certain amount of passion and trust
will need to be established first. Without these two elements
a long distance relationship is doomed to fail. Another ingredient
Now you've come here looking for how to make a long distance
relationship work and I am assuming by your tone of mind (not
voice) that you are indeed looking for how to turn a long distance
relationship into work, as into a tedious job and I will tell
First, both of your need to be relatively psychologically immature.
You don't want to hurt each other's feelings. You have basic codependent
tendencies and value your partner's feelings over your own.
So, you cling to this relationship that should have died a stillborn
death in some backstreet Mexican doctor's office in the 1980's
and hold onto it as your lifeline. You may be thinking that you'll
just be in this relationship until something better comes along
a little closer to home.
Now, how to make a long distance relationship work involves
these top 10 easy steps:
||1. Let that trust you've developed
lead into jealous distrust. Convince yourself that your long
distance partner is indeed at this moment sleeping with someone
2. Let that passion fade. Compare your partner in that land
Far, Far Away to an Ogre and or at least Donkey.
3. Next, call your long distance partner constantly even if
they don't want you too. Soon, this will become work for you
and them. Call them for no reason and with nothing to say.
4. When you fly to visit your partner, take the redeye and
get the cheapest ticket with the most layovers possible, so
once again this will be work, like a job for both you and
5. Next, instead of taking a plane, sometimes take a train
or bus just to draw out the agony. Bring along actual work
from your job so that once again this relationship will seem
like work and the fun will be sucked dry like the dry lake
beds at Bonneville or El Mirage, California.
6. Plan to do nothing fun with your time together. Talk about
bills, the weather and how long a porcupine's quills should
7. Reading to bring when you visit your mate includes the
books of clichés, conversation starters, and lawn clippings.
8. Tell your long distance mate that you're bored, over and
over and over again, ad nauseam, so that you yourself become
repetitious and boring.
9. Moan about all of your physical, psychological, social
and situational problems that your partner cannot solve or
listen to anymore so they feel helpless and keep tuning you
10. Hope, by the holy graces above that you make life so unbearable
for them that they reject you first and call it off, so that
you get to be the victim instead of the bad guy (or gal).
These are the top 10 steps in how to make a long distance relationship
work. Remember a long distance relationship can feel like a job
to some people, so treat it that way and some day so may draw
a pension (or time in a penitentiary for a semi-planned train
"accident" just to relieve the boredom).