Home
About Us
Contact
Privacy

HOW PILGRIM

Animals
How to Stop Dog from Humping Leg

Cars & Vehicles
How Kill Self with Segway

Computers & Tech
How to Download Songs onto iPod
How to Hack Gaia
How to Make Website for Free
How to Take Screenshot on Mac or PC
How to Text
How to Use an iPad

Drawing & Art
How to Draw Flames
How to Draw on Middle of Brain
How to Draw Wolverine

Drugs & Alcohol
How to Make Crack Cocaine
How to Make Crystal Meth
How to Make Green Eggs and Meth
How to Pickup Drug Habit

Education
How to Write ABC's like Michael J. Fox

Employment
How to Quit Job
How to Write a Resume

Health
How Much Should I Weigh
How to Cure Herpes
How to Do Colonoscopy
How to Put in Eye Drops

Holiday
How to Carve Pumpkin
How to Enjoy Labor Day

Home
How to Build a Safe Room
How to Get Rid of Pests

How to Make Chloroform

Life Skills
How to Change Yourself
How to Check Out Hoax
How to Go to Hell in a Hand Basket
How to Scare People at UFO Press Conference
How to Survive a Tornado
How to Talk Like a Parrot
How to Talk Like a Pirate
How to Tie a Tie

Law
How to Beat DUI
How to Change Your Name
How to Hire DUI Lawyer
How to Hire Lawyer
How to Make a Will

Money
How to Make Money Fast at Home

Music
How to Read Guitar Tabs

Relationships
How to Attract Aries Man
How Make Long Distance Relationship Work

Recipes
How to Boil Eggs
How to Cook Turkey

How to Fry Skunk
How to Grill Steak

Recreation
How to Make Crossbow
How to Make Longbow

Sports
How to Play Soccer

 

Resources

Click Here Nimrod

How to Boil Eggs

(the Old School Way)

How to boil eggs the Old School way is covered on this page. Now, you're probably thinking about getting a pan from the pantry or a pair of panties from the pantry or painting the pantry and then decorating it with stuck on panties and glued on pans. But, this thinking will get your nowhere my friend.


Boiled Egg

So put down the pan and stop banging yourself in the head with it and I'll tell you how to boil eggs right now. And you don't even need to use a pan or a microwavable bowl or dish. You don't even need to add water. You don't even need to tell Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart to suck eggs. No, this would be wrong.

Now, you may think I'm babbling here. And you may be right. I may be crazy. Or it may just be a lunatic you're looking for. Anywho, the sure-fire way to boil an egg is without fire. That's right, without fire.

But, you're always welcomed to bring the heat. And by heat I mean insults.

Now, let's just put aside the fact that you dwell too much on the Mime Apocalypse and Sister-wife Zombies. You need to remain focused here.

You've come to this page looking for answers and answers we've got. The fact that we have not gotten to your answer is not a bug, it's a feature.

So, let me lay out in simple terms what you'll need to boil eggs.

Here's the supply list:

  Pots
Pans
Water
Salt
Eggs
Butter

Cream
Cheese
Stove
Microwave
Coleman Stove
Egg Beater

Okay, now just toss this stuff away because you're going to need none of it. That's right, none of it! Well, boo hoo, you say, I have to have eggs to make this work if nothing else. What you need to do is feed your dog and egg before bedtime, let em jump in bed with you and see who is boiling mad, then.

So, that brings me to my next point (and ironically my first real point on this page). To boil an egg you're going to need anger, some good one-liners and Humpty-Dumpty.

That's right Humpty-Dumpty, from Herman Melville's classic novel Moby Dick. Humpty Dumpty, the great white whale-like egg that sat on a seawall. That big, fat egg that had a great fall.

All the king's horses and all the king's men said, "You're too fat, Egg! We could put you back together but we won't. How did you get so fat? Did you eat Big Bird?"

So, to make an egg boil what you need to do is kick Humpty Dumpty while he's down and yell things like, "Hey, you're the yolk of the town!" or "Hey Humpty did you get pushed off that wall by a poacher?" or even, "You're looking a little dumpy Humpty - and so is yo mama!"

Now these insults are enough to make most eggs boil. And Humpty did. But while scrambling for a comeback all he could say is, "Don't do Crack!"

And that is the story of how to boils eggs.

The End.

   

 

Well, not really the end.


Best Answer

Insult Humpty Dumpty.


Fail

Put some eggs in a pot, add water to just over the top of eggs, bring to boil for 1 minute, let stand for 30 minutes in covered pot, put in refrigerator for 1 hour to cool down.


Verdict

Best Answer gets a pat on the back. Fail gets a kick in the groin.

 

 
 


And so, I'll now leave you with a poem:

We don't need no fire
We don't need no flame
That's how we boil eggs
The Old School way


 
© 2014 HowPilgrim.com. All Rights Reserved.