How to Pickup a Drug Habit without Really Trying
Not many people want to know how to pickup a drug habit. This
makes you special since you're one of the few who do. Picking
up a drug habit is not as difficult as it sounds.
With a little bit of practice anyone can do it. It's like taking
pictures or writing a short story. Anyone can do it, but few do
it well. The same is true for acquiring a drug habit.
Some people take drugs occasionally but don't get hooked. Some
regularly take drugs on the weekends recreationally and they don't
get a substance abuse problem. These people we call "lightweights".
In order to pickup a drug habit you have to go all the way, so
that not even a year in an inpatient rehab facility will save
your sorry butt pudding.
The top way to pickup a drug habit is to start at the very beginning
and don't skip any steps along the way.
The Top 20 Steps to Picking Up a Drug Habit include:
1. start with an unhappy childhood
2. during holidays go over to that one uncle that you're supposed
to stay away from and strike up a conversation when no one else
3. keep the secret of whatever he does to you forever
4. let the secret fester in your belly
5. when feelings come up, stuff them down
6. when there is an elephant in the living room shoot it with
a tranquilizer dart
7. When the 800 pound gorilla appears, zap it with a stun gun
8. if and when anyone confronts you over the years about the fact
that you may be an alcoholic, drug addict or both, turn the tables
on them and show them their weaknesses
9. Don't let go and let god
10. Hold on with a tight grip and remain rigid
11. Control until death do you part
12. Start using drugs recreationally at first to see which ones
you like best
13. Pick a drug of choice
14. Make friends with several dealers so that you can get the
15. Shop around on the Internet, especially Craigslist where getting
caught has higher odds
16. Strive to get caught and not get caught at the same time
17. In fact, strive to be conflicted about every action and every
decision you make
18. Have the discipline to use drugs even when you don't want
19. Remember that athletes have to train to achieve their goals
and you have to train also to pickup your drug habit
20. No pain, no gain, so get going champ and pickup your drug
There you go. You were perhaps expecting some anti-drug speech
somewhere along the line? You thought I was going to bushwhack
you with don't "don't do drugs" nonsense. I've just
taught you the quickest and easiest way to pickup a drug habit.
So, what are you waiting for? Are you not up for all the tedious
work involved? Just get started and everything will turn out fine.