How Much Should I Weigh?
How much should I weigh is a question often asked by teenagers
and adults alike. It's not often that you hear a baby's first
words be "How much should I weigh?" but this does happen
once in a blue moon or right after Peter Griffin from "Family
Guy" says something psychologically intriguing.
Now in order to figure out how much you weigh, you'll also need
to know your age, sex, height, social security number and mother's
maiden name. Once you have collected this data, you can throw
out your mother's maiden name and social security number as you
shouldn't be giving this to anyone, so shame on you.
Here are some guidelines on how to determine how much you should
||1. If you're a female over 10 years
of age or over and 4 ft, 11-inches or under you should weigh
precisely 95 pounds, not one ounce over or under.
2. If you're a female over 10 years of age or over and are
5 ft tall or over you should weigh 124 lbs, give or take 15
3. If you're male 10 years of age or over and 4 ft, 11-inches
or under you should weigh 97 lbs on the dot.
4. If you're a male over 10 years of age or over and are 5
ft tall or over, then you should weigh 197 lbs give or take
1 lb, 13 ounces.
Ethnicity and sexual orientation do play a role in how much you
should weigh. So, if you have some ethnicity to you then you can
add 2 lbs. If you are of the "other" sexual orientation,
then subtract 3 lbs.
Anxiety factors also play a role when asking "how much should
I weigh?" If you've come here looking for the answer, then
this means you're anxious so add 10 - 155 lbs for the comfort
foods and anxiety eating you've been packing away at night before
bedtime when you carbo load thinking this will keep the monster
out of your closet or from under your bed or the elephant in the
living room or 800 lb gorilla at bay.
By the way, a full grown adult male gorilla should weigh 800
lbs give or take 2 ounces. The elephant in your living room may
weigh about 2,500 lbs which is roughly the size of an older model
If you have body dysmorphic disorder like Michael Jackson did
before he went to sleep and never woke up (or woke up in Never
Never Land on the other side of darkness), then subtract 10 lbs
and call a doctor.
If you have an eating disorder, then by all means binge and purge
then call a doctor. If you have repetitive thoughts about "how
much should I weigh?" and can't keep these thoughts out of
your head you may have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). For
this you'll need a DDS, PhD or OMG WTF an LCSW.
When you ask, "How much should I weigh" then know this
is relative. So, go ask your relative as they are more likely
to know the answer than some anonymous hack like myself giving
you all the wrong information. Wise guy, huh? Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.