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How to Make a Will

Many people jump onto the Internet wanting to know how to make a will. But, jumping will not get it done, my friend.


You'll need to dive into the process of how to make a legally binding will (and perhaps suffer some angina along the way). And I will tell you right here and now how to do it.

What you'll need:

  1. Pen
2. Paper
3. Computer
4. MS Word
5. Printer
6. Lifestyle Attorney
7. Conscious decision-making skills
8. Box of shotgun shells

On your computer, open up MS Word. Type your name at the top along with the words "Power of Attorney". Jam paper and pen into your printer. Jam your lifestyle attorney in there too along with your conscious decision-making skills. And as far as the shotgun shells, don't do it. Just don't do it!

Okay, now in some foreign countries you can marry a person my simply throwing poop on their shoes and saying "I marry thee". Yes, I want to go there someday, too. Now, in these same far-flung, farfetched, far out, far far away, Jamie Farr, Farrah Fawcett countries they also have a way to create a will that is simple, effective and legally binding.

It involves finding the local judge, throwing poop on his shoes and saying "I marry thee."

So, now for a frame of reference I thought you may like to know some famous wills.


Famous Wills

Add together rap music, Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Hitch - Will Smith

Combine a different prince plus Wallace and Gromit teeth - Prince Will

Combine black eyed peas, hip hop and ADHD - Will.I.AM

Combine a playwright, a fortnight and gay rights - Will Shakespeare

Add together a devil in a blue dress, outrageous lipstick and a famous denial - Will Clinton

What you'll need to put on paper for your last will and tenement

  1. Title the document "Power of Attorney"
2. Declaration of Independence to the Universal States of OtherLife-ia
3. Name an Executor (Attila the Hun, Jesse James, the Terminator)
4. Name a Guardian News Organization
5. Name Fiduciary Beneficiaries Benefactors Benefitters Urban Outfitters
6. Detail your fat assets
7. Write specific bequests, requests, and Jonny Quests
8. Funnel arrangements
9. Your John Hancock or Martin Short, whichever you prefer
10. Witnesses stamp of disapproval and condescension

Now that you know, how to make a Will, our next episode will feature how to make a Grace.

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