How to Make Chloroform
Perhaps you have a spouse or loved one that is getting upon your
nerves. Suppose your boss is micromanaging you. Well, then you
may just have a legitimate reason for learning how to make chloroform
using household materials.
Of course any how-to article wouldn't be complete without a supplies
Picture of Mel Gibson
First, call Hazmat to come get your acetone and shock powder
as you won't need it for this experiment. Second, put the ice
and water in a pitcher. Tape the picture of Mel Gibson on the
wall upside down. Third, pour plant food in the pitcher (not picture).
And then pour the water, ice and plant food on the Chia Pet. If
the Chia Pet also looks like Mel Gibson you get extra points.
Wait two days for the shock and awe effect to occur and the Chia
Pet to bloom fully. Harvest the "hair" of the pet. Put
this in a household blender. Hold to nose. If this smells like
chloroform then it is working. If you faint it's really working.
If the neighborhood faints you've gone too far.
Wait, in my ear bud my producer is telling me,
that I've just told you how to make chlorophyll and not chloroform.
Sorry about that.
Okay, so the quickest way to knock out your spouse is this. Eat
a large Mexican Meal, lots of beans. Wait till they fall asleep.
Pull up the covers and let an F5 tornado of methane gas fly like
the wind. Show no mercy. When your body is drained like a bunch
of deflated balloons in a porcupine factory, it is time to stop.
Peek under covers. Make sure your spouse does not have weapons.
Say, "Sayonara." Run for the hills.
If spouse does this to you first.
Best Case Scenario
They will never know what hit them.
Butts, I.C. (1971).The analysis of the self: A systematic
approach to the psychoanalytic treatment of gaseous household
ass anomalies. New York: International Universities Press.
Strunk, W., Jr., & White, E. B. & Psy (1979).
The elements of gangnam style. (3rd ed.). New