Artists over the past 50 years have wanted to know how to draw flames. Many lame artists have asked this question and my answer is that trying to draw flames will not work for you. Or will it?

Yes, only artists who have a magnetic personality can be taught how to draw flames. If you have this kind of personality then read on and if not, then drop off.

Side Note: if you want to draw fire simply put on an O. J. Simpson mask and run out in front of any firing range.

Now, back to the task at hand. Drawing flames is not difficult once you know the trick. First you will need paper and an assorted set of drawing devices in the yellow to red spectrum such as colored pencils, markers, paints or some other coloring medium.

For our purposes here let's use either paints that are flammable or colored pencils that have been soaked overnight in gasoline. Let's also imagine doing our artwork around a campfire at night (what are you against campfires? I guess you are against boy scouts and girl scouts as well?).

Yet, I digress in the fetal position. So, let's get back on track. We are at a campfire at night staring at the fire with our paper and coloring medium. We are trying to learn how to draw with the middle sides of our brains. Our magnetic personalities engage the bears and wolves to ethereally draw themselves to the fire. Oh, yes, some fart brains are in the woods, too.

In fact, the bears and wolves get way too close to camp, scare you and you instinctively move nearer to the fire. It is here my friend where your gasoline soaked pencils or flammable paints will start to draw flames. In fact, you may catch on fire yourself. Yet, desist! Desist!

If you don't, you may run around like a namby pamby shouting about the flames hurting you and such. Because of your magnetic personality the bears and wolves will disregard the fire and rip and shred your skin.

There will be a dance of the predators and prey around the campfire light. You will now know how to draw flames using your magnetic personality (and a few flammable art supplies) and life and death will now be in the hands of nature.

If you survive you will have learned how to draw flames towards you like a pro. If not, then you've made one bear very happy.