How to download songs onto an iPod is a question often asked and seldom answered. The same is true for "who am I and why am I here?" But, answering this last question is not why we are here now.

You want to know how to download songs onto an iPod and I am here to tell you the answer in a way that won't make you flinch - too much. It may make you gag, spit, hurl and poop your pants with glee, but you won't flinch a bit.

What you need to do first is either buy an Apple iPod or trade for one. Trade your dog, cat or pet Tasmanian turtle for one or steal it out of your friend's locker and tell them that Satan took it.

Next, you need to find some songs. Sure you could go to Limewire or many other places on the Internet and download these files to your computer and then use your USB cord to upload them to your iPod, but this is child's play and will not get you the results for which you're looking.

How Do You Download Songs onto an iPod?

The answer my friend is not blowing in the wind, but it is blowing in your mind. Hang on a second because this will blow your mind. Do to recent scientific advances it is now possible to download the songs playing inside your head onto your iPod.

Yes, this is true.. It is true because I said it's true. Now, you may have seen a TV special where a quadriplegic person in a wheelchair will move a cursor on a computer screen using just their mind. Okay, so you didn't see it but you may have heard about it. No, huh?

Well, anyway, that was a couple of years ago and the technology has advanced exponentially since then. Thoughts can now be downloaded onto a computer screen via an advanced form of Dragon Naturally Speaking called Demons Naturally Spanking (don't even ask how this name came to be).

So, anywho, after this Yahoo-Microsoft collaboration application was created, it was simply a matter of connecting the USB cord to one's ear in order to siphon off the iTunes in one's head directly onto an iPod.

This is when the USB Intracranial Headset was created. Every time you put on the headset a tiny electrode is inserted into each ear canal through to the other side and into your brain matter. The music in your brain gravitates from Broca's area to the electrodes into the headset, down the mousetrap and into the iPod.

Now, I know you flinched when I just said this. So, my bad, as I said I wouldn't make you flinch. I said I would teach you how to download songs onto an iPod without flinching. Well, I was messed up.

But, take heart as it isn't painful at all. Like those new testing kits for diabetics that are virtually painless so are the Demon ear probes from the new fangled headsets. They are virtually painless as well. And if you happen to have a brain hemorrhage because of these electrodes in your brain, this will be virtually painless as well.

In addition, due to brain damage, you'll be hearing the music all the time even without your iPod attached. And that will be most awesome, now won't it?

How to Download Songs onto an iPod

How Do You Download Songs onto an iPod?

How to Download Songs
onto an iPod