How to check out a hoax is especially important online with all of this anonymity crap we got going here with spoofing, false names, addresses, phone numbers, avatars and multiple levels of security for both good guys and bad guys.

When one thinks about how to check out a hoax one has to consider conventional wisdom (as well as saying the formal "one" instead of the informal "you").

The conventional wisdom when checking out a hoax says to:

1. Check out the web to see how widespread this information is
2. Consider the source of the information
3. Know what the urban legends are
4. Trust your gut

Now, I say this is balderdash, poppycock and pure rubbish. Well, not pure rubbish since if it is pure that would imply some sort of cleanliness which would cancel out the dirtiness of rubbish.

Anywho, I say the opposite of conventional wisdom is the real truth. When you want to know how to check out a hoax then do the opposite of the four steps listed above.

For instance, in point number 1, don't check out any other sources. On every spam email you get click on the links, go to the website they lead you to and give out your social security number and mother's maiden name. Remember, SPAM is a name and brand you can trust.

In regard to point number 2, do not under any circumstances consider the source. Don't do it. No good can come from this. All sources are to be blindly trusted.

Point 3 says to know what the urban legends are but who wants to spend their lives reading about alligators in the sewers or the guy in the bathtub who woke up without a kidney? Reading about this useless information just fills up your head and pushes out other more useful information such as where was Meryl Streep born or is anal bleaching considered art or science.

And point 4 is probably the most useless to those who want to know how to check out a hoax. Trust your gut? Didn't this cause your substance abuse problem, your divorce, your money problems or whatever your vice happens or happened to be?

No, you've trusted your gut one too many times, I say. Now is the time to distrust your gut and trust some strangers blindly for a change. They know what is good for you. They will tell you the truth when you can't handle the truth.

Just follow all four of these four steps in how to check out a hoax and you can't go wrong. And especially on April Fool's Day believe everything you read, see and are told.